Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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