she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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