you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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