rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
