So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
NoShamevember. You game?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
