super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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