apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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