yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize