ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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