my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i will never coherently bang her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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