i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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