My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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