Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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