she was so not down for the gang bang
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
