My girlfriend figured out who you are.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
