you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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