season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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