Swine flu. Run for my life!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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