well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I AM VODKA MAN
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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