If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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