I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize