Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
