Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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