i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
