what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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