Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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