I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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