yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
