I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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