she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
and you fell through a lawn chair
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
