Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
