you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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