Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
