Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
