so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
