This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
