Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize