someone get that fucking seahorse.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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