Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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