yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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