Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
