theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
