lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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