he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
