just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
