I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Someone came in the potted fern
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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