Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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