He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize