I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she woke up with a sticky ear
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize