As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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