Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
