Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
