did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize