im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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