No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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