i think my mom watched the whole time
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
