scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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