There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
